Taking the flak

Life’s full of 2 kinds of experiences.

  1. The happy moments
  2. The learnings

The first fuels you. It keeps your vitality intact.

The second first breaks you, then joins you back together into a new you.

The second happens more often than we would like, but eh…that’s life.

The latest lesson learnt is on responsibility.

When you take initiative, there are of course moments when you haven’t been able to overlook every little detail and that one detail you missed will come back and bite you.

The whole show (or maybe even a small part of the show) is on you. You are responsible for that small or big thing. You take it upon yourself to do your best, your 110%.

And if it does go well, it is forgotten easily after the round of applause. The hard work and the sleepless nights, the running around is hidden from memory.

But if it doesn’t, then all fingers point to you. Most usually, this happens when something out of your control changes things. There’s no one (or maybe everyone) to blame.

But you are there. You, the one with the broadest set of shoulders!

When they look at you with disappointment in their gaze and in their tone, that really hurts.

When you know you’ve done everything possible to avoid/overcome it and still you fail, then what? How can you tell them it wasn’t your fault when you could have done something…anything?

Well, guess what…you can’t!

 

You are NOT God.

Mistakes happen. You overlook certain details. Take responsibility, apologize, be a professional.

Even in the workplace, make sure you own up to it. I know it hurts. But take it, and think…what should be done next?

Tomorrow is another day. You can rewrite or start a new chapter.

Your mistakes today, make it easier for you to avoid them tomorrow.

It is insanity only if you repeat them. Don’t.

Tips to avoid the mistakes:

  1. Make sure you have a Plan B, C, D even Z!
  2. Have a emergency/contingency budget always
  3. Don’t panic. Just take a deep breath and a step back.
  4. Do not react. Respond like a professional.
  5. Do the necessary steps to clear the aftermath
  6. Say sorry only once. Never more than that. You know you did a mistake, you own it and move on.
  7. Do not let people who are seemingly concerned about you make you do things or suggest ideas
  8. Stop feeling guilty! I know…I do the same…but stop!! Just STOP!
  9. Know that you can always find a solution.
  10. At the end of everything, smile and tell yourself “Everything’s gonna be ok”
  11. The best thing is…go to a friend and rant…even if they can’t do anything, you’ll have a clearer mind and feel fresh.

 

Be happy, keep smiling.

Today’s mistakes are lessons learnt 🙂 😀

 

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Word-Boost…Zodiac-Boost

Hehehe…everyone (well, almost everyone) believes in the strength of their sun sign over their lives…

At least I believe in it in selected cases.

When – you might think?

Some believe it when things happen to them that they never expected but was written in that Horoscope/Astrology column.

For some, their entire lives are a copy of Linda Goodman’s book.

But as for me, I believe in it only when I feel down and feel like I need an Ego-boost.

Hence, the title!!!

Ha…so…I, myself, whenever feel like things are just not going my way, just read through blog posts or Tumblr posts or even FB posts just to see what they have said about me (my sign) today.

Of course, you feel really good when they say that

“This sign is the most persistent of all” & “They are all-rounders” or even “They have very high expectations and always focus on the next step”…

Oh yes! I feel good when I hear that…and that’s why I believe in the power of words.

Any word uttered in the right sense, can build dreams, reassure timid hearts, give hope to a person.

And a word wrongly uttered, hurts, shatters and destroys.

I have seen people mention casually, sarcastic and rude comments who do not realize that they just tipped the balances for someone else.

A word is so powerful that you can unknowingly empower a random person.

I have experienced it when someone who personally didn’t like me, came up to me one day and said sarcastically, “Just because everyone calls you for help, doesn’t mean you are a genius and that you can do anything.”

There is a saying that you should not judge words by the person who says them but by their quality.

I was initially shocked to hear such animosity, but when I thought back, that person had just indirectly complimented me.

I thought – Ah…I never knew that I could be that kind of a person.

I was humbled.

That person who never spoke to me in a kind way had given me a start to being someone better. And I was inspired to become a better person, a kinder person.

Words – seemingly harmless, but all-powerful.

This reminds me of the great quotes and proverbs my elders used to teach me…

They all talk about how the spoken word is golden and can shape not just yourself but the reality around you.

Here goes…

“One kind word can warm three winter months”

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”

“Pleasant words are honey from a honeycomb—Sweet to the soul, and health to the bones”

“Speech that is embellished by truth and love yields all one’s wishes, drives away poverty, builds a reputation, prevents wrong doings”

“We speak such harsh words, most of the times it makes a deep dent in the mind of the hearer.”

And that should do…:-) 😀

Speak thoughtfully. You never know who’s life you will change.

Don’t Change It!

Ah…it’s amazing how a frustrating experience can change everything.

I’m sure that every college has electives in the final year of study.

In mine, they offer an elective only if there are 6 people. There used to be a self-study option for those interested in taking an elective yet do not have count for the classes.

I am one such person. I went to the HOD to get his permission to undertake a self-study course and gain the relevant credits. But, what I hadn’t known beforehand is that they had stopped such an option because “there was a policy decision”.

Bah…nothing like that. The honest truth came out later when I accidentally found that the self-study option was too much of a bother for the faculty (Read: They were too lazy to offer the course) since the students didn’t take it seriously.

Lol…so funny yet not so funny. Despite assurances and proof that I will indeed take the subject seriously and having especially nice professors willing to offer that option, the HOD just blasted at me saying “Why are you making unnecessary requests?! You don’t need to change the system!!! You just have to go with the flow!!!!!”

Cue here an internal bulb going off, a volcano erupting, a righteous anger bubbling inside my mind.

Frustration doesn’t begin to cover it. There is a new energy in me now, to make sure that the elective is offered!

Gah…i wonder if when people had said things like “You can’t do it” or “Don’t bother bringing in change”, would the world remain the same?

No way!!!

The world we are in right now was created by those who rebelled against monotony. It is made up of the doers, not the yes-men.

History was created by men/women who broke the system!!!

This reminds me of these great people who swam against the tide –

  1. Robert Frost (Of course!)  – He explains why it is important to choose your own path to happiness in his poem “The Road Not Taken” which has inspired me ever since I read it when in school.
  2. The discovery that the earth is round – Some credit it to Eratosthenes, while some say it is Parmenides or even Hesiod. Whatever it is, they were literally crucified for saying something blasphemous at that time.
  3. Galileo – for saying the earth is not the centre of the universe. I still remember how bad I felt when I read the story of his discovery and subsequent suffering. Now, years later people hail him when back when he was alive, people hated him.

These are few names I had at the top of my mind and I’m sure I have missed many…

So why don’t you share your experience when someone  said you can’t do it and how you made it happen!!!

🙂

 

Happy New Year!

Hello hello hello!!!

A very happy new year all…

🙂 ❤

As a new morning dawned, all I could think of was how one year changed me.

Within a year, I learnt invaluable lessons.

Though these lessons could have been delivered by fate/destiny/kismet/God in a less..what to say…harsh manner, I would have appreciated it.

But in hindsight, if they had been not so dramatic or maybe a tad cruel, one would not learn them.

All the mistakes I made out of sheer naivete resulted in a lifetime’s worth of inspirational quotes.

And I don’t know why, but one particular quote just pierced me deep.

So, here’s to all the lessons learnt, mistakes made, paths travelled.

Remember, it’ll all make you a better person.

So, Happy New Year folks!

Here are some words that made my day…

Share the joy, share the smiles…it’s not just words, they can make you…

🙂

“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.”

“From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.”

“You can’t really be strong until you can see a funny side to things.”

“Women are never so strong as after their defeat.”

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”

And  my personal favourite,

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all -”

&

“When you want to give up,
Remember why you started”

 

🙂 😀 ❤