In connection to an old post I once made Really? I did that???, I still am amazed at the way people are so silly!
What happened now?
Oh man…2 incidents actually.
Actors: Me, S & N (Work friends), A (Colleague)
S, has been facing family pressure to get married (Welcome to India!) but she wants to settle in her career first. So me & N tease her by saying “Any new prospects this week?”.
One fine day, another colleague,A, whom S has never spoken to before, but N & me are friendly with, asks her “So when are you getting married?”
S replies saying, “Not interested in getting married soon”.
A is shocked. She proceeds to explain why it is important to get married, why S seems like a person who would never get a boyfriend etc etc
Yes, A told S she didn’t seem like a person who would get a boyfriend. And A was not even ashamed or hesitant.
Point #1: A and S have never spoken before.
Point #2: Why should A impose her views on S?
Thankfully, there was no fighting, but this made me realize that some people think it is their right to trespass on others’ boundaries.
Why? I have no idea!!!
Actors: Me, Old classmate M
M questions me persistently, relentlessly…and I am staring at him with this expression
So, you wanna know why I took an apartment instead of something else?
Is it just me or do people buy villas/chateaus while moving to a new place few months into your ordinary job…As if you are not living in an apartment! Psshhhaww…..
You wanna know why I am too busy to meet you for a lunch/dinner?
Maybe you don’t get that I might not wanna spend my time, energy and money to meet you at a lunch/dinner just so you could grill me and advice me on my life choices.
You wanna know why I go home on vacations?
Why is this even a question you feel you should ask me? Do people not go home on long vacations? Okay, I admit that there might be times when you go on trips with your friends, or you might want to spend time alone chilling at your place, but the point is…if I choose to go home, why should that be your concern???
You wanna know who the people/friends are in my whatsapp dp?
Do you know them from before? No?? Okay…so I need to explain that I have the capability to make friends? Sure, no prob. Didn’t know it was a rare occurrence.
Any other questions you want me to answer?
Treat others with respect, people.
If you are not even friends with people, just because you know them doesn’t mean you have the right to question them…especially on their personal lives.
I’d rather say these things to myself make sure that I don’t lose sight of myself (aka lose my temper)
- Do not care what others think of your choices – they never had to choose between the options you had, they never lived your life.
- Do not explain – You don’t have to ever explain why or when or where. If they don’t know why, if they don’t respect you enough to understand it is not a topic to be touched upon, they don’t deserve an explanation.
- You have the right to ignore them and if necessary say ‘NO’ – if they can’t respect your boundaries, even if they are your good friends (which they’re not), you have no obligations. You don’t have a signed agreement that says you have to listen to their b***s***. (Please excuse me, no other word seems to suit)
Here you go guys, any person who is not concerned for you and asks unnecessary questions to you regarding anything, absolutely anything, even if they are your besties from birth, if you feel they are stepping across a line, then you don’t have to answer them.