Comments I’ve heard and tried not being offended because of it. I found that not reacting to them were better than dignifying them with responses.
Got proof that chauvinistic/racist/sexist comments are made by both men and women and that it’s not the gender but the small-mindedness that comes out.
Mr G: I’m not sure what he (manager/boss) is expecting from the document.
Me: We can ask him. We will get more clarity.
Mr G: Hahaha, we can’t ask such silly questions to him.
Me: Why not? He’s the best person to ask. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t asked silly questions before either. It will be fine.
Mr G: You have asked silly questions and he has not minded because you are a girl.
Me: Really? Because I am a girl? If you had said because of my relatively lesser experience dealing with such situations, I would have agreed. This I don’t agree with.
Mr G: Yes, it is because you are a girl.
I got so furious that day, I felt like lashing back with very pithy comments, but I had to rein it in and control myself. I thought that I shouldn’t get into conversations like that but sometimes you can’t avoid such matters. At such moments, it is best to respond (I think) with a comment like “That’s a very chauvinistic comment.” I’ve tried saying it too but such guys defend their stand more than anything. They just can’t handle a more knowledgeable person being around them (especially if that person is younger/more educated/looks better/is a female).
Ms A: You have to try the chicken curry from that place! It’s amazing.
Me: I don’t eat non-veg.
Ms A: What?! You don’t eat non-veg?
Ms A: But aren’t you from place K?
Ms A: Everyone there eats fish and non-veg, right?
Me: You can’t generalize like that. It’s not necessary that everyone eat meat.
The whole conversation I kept thinking, “How is it possible for a person to be sooooooo narrow-minded?”. How can you judge someone like that? I really don’t understand why it is difficult for people to think that not everyone lives like them.
Mr H: Don’t you think you should start exercising?
Mr H: I mean, you shouldn’t start letting go of yourself. It’s healthier to do something like exercise and diet control, when you gain weight.
Me: Excuse me?!
Mr H: How much is your weight?
I wanted to say – it’s none of your business what my weight is, whether I’ve gained weight, or whether these pants are getting tighter. He said those words very carelessly. And I just wanted to punch him in the jaw. Make it hurt.
There are countless other comments that I have heard and try to forget and ignore. Most times you are surrounded by such people who are always trying to put you down, to pull you to their level.
At this point of time, I keep reading positive quotes and inspiring articles, just so that I may distance myself from such negativity. Sometimes, no matter how positive you are, the constant barrage of comments get on your nerves, they get to you – especially when they poke at a wound you’ve been ignoring. That’s when I take a break from life, from work. I take a break, go talk to other friends and people, pretend I am working, put headphones on, or ignore them.
Just don’t let them get to you…they don’t get to body-shame you, they don’t get to point out your imperfections when they themselves aren’t perfect specimens.
Just remember, if you are surrounded by people who are not going to help you grow, help you learn, then you have to stop letting them be in your circle.
As I have read before – Don’t be afraid to edit your life ruthlessly. After all, it is your masterpiece.
Stay postive, stay happy.
🙂 ❤ S