My job isn’t worth it.

It hit me, when I worked hard with only criticism as my reward.

It hit me, when I spent sleepless nights staring at my work.

It hit me, when I was hospitalised and my manager called me to make me do work.

My manager knew how sick I had been, despite which he asked me to send lab reports to him, despite which he told me to be available online while in hospital, despite which he called me multiple times for doing work.

I was wasting precious energy, brain-work and time all for the sake of a thankless person, who didn’t care that I wasn’t even in a shape to eat proper food.

Guys, it hit me very deep.
That a bad manager could make you feel worthless.
That a bad manager would make you question your abilities.
That a bad manager would make you want to leave.

I wanted to hold on, stubbornly, because I didn’t want him to win. Didn’t want his tyranny to succeed. But when I understood that whatever I did, would only feed into a vicious cycle of him wanting to heap things on me, and me wanting to outperform, it wasn’t healthy.

Sometimes, maybe finding an alternative is indeed the right option. Sometimes, you need to regroup and understand that certain managers, certain workplaces are just not worth it.

If it costs you your happiness, your work quality and your health, trust me, it’s just not worth it.

It made me sad.

I had known kindness, humility and care, however I had not known that there were such people who sucked your positivity, your vibrance and made a shell out of you.

Right now, it may seem as if there’s no door opening in front of you. It will. It will…

I’m holding on to the faith that something good will happen.

Stay strong guys.

Remember, you’re not giving up, you’re moving on.
There’s a difference.

❤ S